Could Not Stand By Me
by Bite My Nails
Summary: I watched the last of my kin as I sailed off. For the longest time I stared at Celeborn, who still stand on the dock. I'm still questioning why Celeborn did come with me. Didn't he want to see his daughter? Didn't he care for her…and me?


I watched the last of my kin as I sailed off. For the longest time I stared at Celeborn, who

still stand on the dock. I'm still questioning why Celeborn did come with me. Didn't he

want to see his daughter? Didn't he care for her...and me? Yes, I knew he did, but it was

not his time. I snorted un-ladylike. I had stayed with him through out the years while I

was homesick and the ache of sea longing caused me more pain as the years passed. He

still could not come with me. I knew he didn't even feel the sea longing yet, I was terrified

that he never would, that he would fade away and become nothing but a memory. Just

like his granddaughter. Fade away.

"Fade away," I sighed still looking at the dock, where my other half still stood.

"My lady, what did you say?" Elrond asked. I turned to look at him. He looked away. He

never did get over that crush on me. I was glad he had found someone, found love in my

daughter. Made her happy.

"How do you think Celebrían is?" I asked; anguish filled my voice as the memories of

how she was when she left for the Undying Lands filled in my head.

"I think she is fine, but that's just a hope," Elrond said with a bitter smile. I nodded.

"I told my daughter long ago, that if she married you, she would be happiest she had ever

been, but it would be short lived. She still married you, still loved you and she always

will, Elrond. She just could not take it here, her pain was to much to bear but she loved

you and knew that you would follow her when it was your time," I said to him hearing

and feeling his bitterness.

"I wonder if you read my mind, my lady," Elrond said full of jest. It was my turn to smile

bitterly. I did not have to. I knew how he felt. Just like Celeborn.

"I can no longer feel Celeborn's mind," I divulged. I quivered from sorrow. What if he

wouldn't come and would die or fade. Elrond pulled me into a hug; I could feel him tense,

even when it was him that drew me to him. No one had dared touch me other than

Celeborn and my children. I wished it were Celeborn here holding me. He would not

tense. I did think he ever tensed under my touch. I touched my ring that was now of no

use to me. No, that was wrong, when I came to him with this ring, when I first came to

own this ring. He knew it would damage me, more than I even knew. He thought I'd

choose the ring over him. Even the wise are foolish sometimes. I was foolish to take the

ring and he was foolish in thinking I would choose the ring over him. I pulled Celeborn

into my arms so long ago and as my hand with the ring on my finger touched Celeborn's

face, he tensed. Back then it did not hurt. I thought it was funny. I laughed, but over the

year I saw and felt people tense. It made me want to cry, but the blood in my veins would

not allow it.

"You may not be able to read his mind, but...Land. It's the Undying Lands, my lady,"

Elrond said. He moved away from me, closer to the land to see the people on the shore

better. I did not moved; I still have pain and sadness from being a parted from Celeborn.

We landed. My brothers, parents, and my daughter were here. Celebrían was vigorous.

My son was missing. I held back tears; I guess my son did not survive the waves, while

he swam after the boat so long ago. My boy, I would never see him again, unless I died of

grief. Which I believed would happen if Celeborn never would come. I wondered if this

would've been Arwen's fate if she had left Estel. I trembled, thinking of watching her die

in this haven. In the world of men I did not have to watch her die, I no longer had my

sight. I'd never see my boy, my Arwen and maybe Celeborn. I did not doubt for a second

that, the twins would return. They had missed their mother too much, to not see her. Even

if they thought she still didn't't heal.

"My sister, your exile is over. You are home now," I heard Finrod's strained voice. I

moved past him to my daughter. Too many fights and years had bent, almost broken our

sibling bonds, we no longer as close as we had once been.

"Mother, you are home now," Celebrían said clutching Elrond's hand. I forced a smile.

"I have missed you," I said as I clasped her. This would not be my home again until my

husband came, but now I celebrated my daughter's health and exhilaration, for soon I'd

be at the sea waiting for Celeborn. Waiting and watching for his ship to come close

enough for our bond to connect again.

"Mother, are you well?" Celebrían asked. She moved from Elrond.

"Take a walk with me, my child," I said. We walked down the beach away from the

people on the dock and walked with my only real family on this island. I watched the sea,

wondering what he was doing that was so vital, that he couldn't stay by my side.

"You miss Ada, don't you, Naneth?" Celebrían asked.

"Hmph, that fool. Why should I?" I replied. I knew I shouldn't call Celebrían's Ada that.

She had a closer bond with him than me.

"Naneth, don't hate him for staying. He loves his home. He will not depart until he knows

that the forest will survive on its own," Celebrían said grimly as if I was a child who did

not understand why Ada had not come. I understood quite well, but that did not stop the

pain or the rage in my soul.

"I know that, child," I said cruelly. I took a deep breath to calm myself. It was hard, but

my little one, my only little one left was thriving and she was here. I should not have been

cruel to her; it was not her fault.

"I am sorry, little one. Come here," I said. I pulled her to me. She did not struggle or

tense. We stayed there, crying and giving each other comfort, while watching the gray

ocean.

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Me: That how I'm going to leave this story. You decided if he comes or not. Please R&R.


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